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Kathleen Clare Waller's avatar

Lovely to read this via Leila's note (I love her work).

yes, so relatable, Lucy! I am American and have lived in 8 countries in Europe and Asia as an 'expat'. My son was born in Austria - a marvelous place to have a child for the maternity leave and other benefits, but also a disorienting one. Probably I would have been disoriented in motherhood anywhere, even 'home', but the cultural differences and distance from family were both extremely difficult and mind opening. My son is 6 now, and has lived also in the UK and Switzerland. We are about to move to Japan. Everywhere we go, i have both mind-splitting difficulty with cultural differences as a mother but also awakenings and freedoms. I find that by seeing the way other people raise children, it gives me more freedom to choose how I want to raise mine. Some things are out of our control, but additionally, other expats / immigrants tend to really support each other when needed, like an instant family.

Good luck with your journey!

Kate

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Sindy's avatar

Your article reminds me of how it was after giving birth to my first kid. She was born in Germany, and I am originally from Hong Kong. By the time she was born, I already lived in Germany for a few years. But my German was far from sufficient. All the doctor appointment, baby classes, etc. were in Germany. I had a hard time to adjust.

Besides, I was changing from a full time career woman to a stay at home mom for the first year. Completely isolated with the social interaction I was used to. Husband was working most of the day away from home. I had depression.

So, I totally understand you and how it was to navigate motherhood, especially as an expat. But you know what, things get better. By the time I had my second kid, I was already a pro. My German improved significantly (especially for motherhood vocabulary 😊). I knew what to do with a small baby. And I already knew some other families who are in the same situation like me so that we could hang out.

It is a process. It is hard. But we also learn a lot along the way. Things only get easier and better. And when you look back one day, you won't even realize how fast time has passed and the challenge you overcome makes the person you are now. My kids are already in elementary school now and I don't know how that happened. Time flies!

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